Winning attitudes translate into success at all levels. Recognizing and emulating the winning attitude of a successful person is not just a compliment to a role model, it’s an essential element in developing your own success. A good friend, Joe, recently told a story which makes this point as relevant today as when he first learned it.

Joe possesses a winning attitude which has translated into a very successful company and he is a man that others watch; however, Joe began life focused on himself rather than on the successes of others, a flaw he had to overcome quickly in college:

“When I was a freshman playing football I was ready to set the world
on fire. I thought I had arrived and it was just a matter of showing it
to my teammates,” he laughed. “One day I was standing in line in the
weight room waiting for a machine and I was talking most of my wait.
After a while I heard an imposing voice behind me ask ‘Do you want
to be good?’ I turned around to find the 6’8” senior captain of the
football team behind me. He was revered for his athletic abilities
and leadership and I was surprised by his question.

He asked me again: ‘Do you want to be good?’

Yes sir, I do, I said.

‘Then stop talking and start learning,’ he commanded. ‘There are
veteran players on those machines; have you observed their
technique. Are you watching to learn what they do? On this team, if
you want to succeed there are no wasted moments. You can talk, or
you can wait quietly in line and learn; but only if you want to be good.’

That was a lesson I never forgot. I apply it every day in my work, and
I teach my executives to do the same: be quiet to learn.

We all face times waiting for growth in our careers and personal lives; we all have experienced stalled economies that slow our goals and dreams, when our aspirations can’t advance as quickly as we desire. At those times, it feels as if we’re standing in a slow line instead of being in the center of the action. However, how we handle those moments is the key to being good. We can chose to determine our future success by maximizing the opportunities in front of us during those stalled moments. Instead of complaining about circumstances, miring ourselves in excuses or becoming complacent until it’s our turn to receive our desired progress, we need to observe, learn and anticipate results. When the wait is over a plan should be ready to execute. Significant advancement does not happen by taking the waiting periods for granted. Forward-thinking leadership uses waiting periods for growth and improvement.

So, who are you watching and emulating? Are you investing in your own development, personally and professionally? How are you turning what may possibly be your most difficult challenges into blessings in disguise? When Joe was standing in the midst of his peers wasting time and distracting his teammates, he could have become defensive when confronted by his team captain and dismissed the message he needed to hear. Instead, Joe abandoned his ego in order to absorb direction from a successful player, and he made that lesson his own. How prepared are you to check your ego, to be quiet and welcome learning opportunities during the slow times? Will you be ready to initiate a new strategy the moment your wait is over, or will you still be standing in a slow line waiting for your turn?

One of my executive clients was interviewing for a leadership position at the helm of a prestigious national sports team. Asking for my help to prepare for the interview process, I readily agreed, and I asked him to be prepared for a mock interview.

At the onset of our practice interview, he pulled out a notebook and began to explain his system of interviewing and recruiting players that had been part of his success!

“Bill (not his real name), what are you doing?” I asked.

“This system is the key to my success,” he confided.

“Bill, if you go in there telling them what you do as the basis for your success, you will lose them right there. Everyone else competing for this job will do the same thing. It’s not about what you do, it’s about who you are that distinguishes you from the rest.”

I went on to explain to Bill that no one buys into a leader’s system until they buy into the leader first. They will not trust his approach until they trust the person behind the approach.

I challenged him to share his passion and vision first: what gets him out of bed in the morning, and why it matters so much to him. I coached him to describe his non-negotiable values and illustrate how they guide his life and serve as a filter for all key decisions he makes, both personally and professionally.

“Bill, share how the impact of your values will positively affect the organization, and then ask the owner if he would support these values at any cost as the basis for building a trusted organization. Everyone else is going for a job interview to sell themselves. You are way beyond that. You are going in that room not to get a job, but to be yourself, with quiet, confident and humble assurance.”

Bill questioned the approach: “What if he’s turned off?”

“It’s just information,” I reminded him. “If he is turned off by you being true to yourself from the start, then do you really want to partner with someone like that? If this owner is anyone of real substance, he will understand that you cannot lead others if you haven’t developed and incorporated an internal map to lead yourself first. He will know that truly great leaders have a clear sense of self. From your clarity of values, those around you will rise to the level of your convictions.

That is leadership Bill. Only after you have shown who you are can you begin to discuss your methods of success. Everyone has methods. Not everyone has clarity of purpose or a clear sense of self. This will set you apart.”

We went on to finish the trial interview and I made some final comments. A week later, Bill came back to me and described the actual interview:

“You know Fred, your advice was right on target. The owner expected everyone at that level of expertise to have a proven system. He had already called around the league and knew everyone’s approaches before the interviews. More than that, he really wanted to understand what kind of leaders we were and whether we were led by the shouts of others or by the whispers inside of ourselves.”

Three days later, the respective owner announced his decision: my client, Bill, was awarded the position! I don’t know who was happier, him or me.

It is true that people will follow us, not because what we do, but because of who we are. Who we are always precedes what we know, what we do, and how we do it. It is one of the non-negotiable principles of effective leadership.