While having coffee with a friend who possesses a larger-than-life personality, and the physique to match, he shared a story regarding his twelve year old son, the quarterback of a team for whom he is the head coach. Like everything else, my friend is big into leadership and relishes every opportunity to pass leadership principles onto his son.
My friend said that he had been pushing his son for some time to show more leadership, and to offer motivating challenges to his teammates while in the huddle between plays. The big man shared an important lesson he learned from his son regarding his attempts to lead by constant example:
During practice I had this habit of joining the huddle almost every play and offering words of wisdom to players who needed instruction and guidance. I was becoming annoyed with my son because I did not see him practice the same behavior with his teammates that I was attempting to instill in him. Over dinner one night, I pushed him to not merely be a player; I said he had a responsibility to be a leader and that he wasn’t exhibiting leadership with his teammates.
The next day I continued to offer words of encouragement to the boys in the huddle. I waited impatiently for my son to speak up rather than having instruction come only from me. Another coach meanwhile asked me to come to the sideline to attend some other matter. All of a sudden I heard my son barking orders confidently in the huddle. Amazed, I watched at a distance as this continued for several plays. I was equally impressed how the boys responded to my son’s directives.
After practice I asked my son, “What got into you out there in the huddle? You finally started acting like a leader.”
My son replied with a statement that humbled me with one of those life lesson moments:
“Dad I have been trying to lead,” he said. “But you were so big in the huddle that there was no room left for me.”
My friend recalled the power of that moment for him, both personally and professionally, because it had a direct application to the company that he owned and operated as well. He shared that in the first few years after he purchased his company, he was constantly bothered that his managers relied on him to make every important decision.
Up until then, I thought the problem was with them. On the way home from my son’s practice that night, I realized I was the problem, not my managers! I thought that I had to be in on every play to help my operating team. I didn’t want them to fail so I constantly intervened in my managers’ decisions. I realized I was doing the same thing with my managers at work that I was doing with my son on the football field. I insisted on being “so big” in the decisions of my leaders that I was preventing them from the chance to grow and to lead. They didn’t trust themselves to make decisions because my over-involvement displayed my own lack of trust in them. I learned that sometimes one of the most powerful moments for a leader is to just get out of the way.
Today my friend’s company is known across the Midwest as leading the way in developing highly engaged and high results environments. He is recognized for growing leaders from within his own organization. Frequently, while speaking to business leaders desiring to duplicate his success, my friend recounts that one of the most important steps along his journey was the day he realized that great leadership sometimes means just getting out of the huddle and out of the way. Only until he was willing to change himself in this regard, could my friend expect to see changes in his leaders as well.